Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
