half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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