He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
