I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
