I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize