Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
