I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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