Are we in a gay sports bar?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
