Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
