Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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