i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
