Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
