That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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