Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You smell like stripper and shame
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
