just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
