If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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