the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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