Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
pray to the hookup gods
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
