mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
