After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
