the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
