What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
