I wish my penis had an off switch
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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