I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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