Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
