I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
