these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
