She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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