That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
