the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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