yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
