Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
