I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
