shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
