When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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