i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
