Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
