just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize