found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
