why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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