Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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