so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
