hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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