Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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