well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
