White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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