Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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