Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
