fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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