in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
