we have officially lost it.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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