I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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