That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
