he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
