Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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