i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
