birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
