Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
