member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Sober January is a disaster.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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