do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize