pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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