all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
