Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
