I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
