thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
