You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
