there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
